Heap the noodles and veg up on 2 warm plates. Slice the escalopes and use them to top the noodles. Serve straight away.
Put a large pan of salted water on to boil. Set your oven to its lowest setting.
Peel and crush or grate the garlic. Peel and grate the ginger. Pop them both in a medium-sized dish and add 1 tsp China 5 spice, the honey and the tamari. Stir together to make a marinade. Add the pork escalopes to the marinade and turn them to coat them in the marinade. Set aside to marinate for 10 mins.
While the pork marinates, peel and finely slice the red onion. Trim and peel the carrot, then slice it into batons about as big as your little finger. Shred the cavolo nero leaves into thin strips, discarding the dry ends. Set the veg aside.
Crack the eggs into a bowl and beat them with a fork to mix them together. Warm a large frying pan or wok over a high heat for 2 mins, then add 1/3 tbsp oil and the beaten eggs. Swirl the eggs to coat the base of the pan. Fry for 2-3 mins, using a spatula to draw the edges of the omelette in and swirl more soft egg over the pan. When set, slide onto a board and set aside.
Add another 1/3 tbsp oil to the pan and carefully lay in the pork escalopes (keep any marinade left in the dish). Fry for 4 mins till well browned underneath, then flip and fry for another 4 mins till browned all over and cooked through – if you slice into the escalope there should be no pink. Slide the pork escalopes onto a heatproof plate or dish, and transfer to the oven to keep warm.
Add another 1/3 tbsp oil to the pan and add the onion, carrot and cavolo nero. Stir fry for 3 mins till the veg start to soften.
The water in the pan should be boiling by now. Add the noodles, simmer for 5 mins, then drain.
Scrape in any marinade left in the dish into the frying pan. Pour in 150ml boiling water and bubble up. Let it boil for 2 mins. While the pan simmers, roughly chop the omelette. Add the omelette and noodles to the veg with 1 tbsp sesame oil and toss to mix. Warm for 1-2 mins.